As I walked away in tears, I received a very personal
insight into how Jesus’ disciples felt the day he left.
Picture this with me: Jesus has spent the last three years
living, breathing, eating, sleeping, and brushing teeth with this eclectic
group of men he called his disciples. I’m guessing they argued amongst one
another, laughed at stupid things, and did the whole “I’m a cool guy” routine
where they tried to out do each other in stupidity. I don’t know for sure, but I
was raised with three brothers, so at
least my guess is educated.
Regardless, they were CLOSE to Jesus. Their hearts were knit
tightly with his. They were brothers, friends, and family to one another.
And then Jesus makes an unexpected and equally devastating
announcement, “I’m leaving you…”
When I started working at Hope, there was a spunky,
middle-aged woman whose cubicle was right behind mine, and she always had the funniest stories. I just
loved to sit and listen to her. Through story-time, I came to love this woman.
We would laugh and giggle until we could hardly stand up straight, but then hug
and cry as sadness after sadness hit my life. She is my dear friend in whom I
love.
Today was her last day at Hope. My heart was broken and
devastated as I had to say my sad goodbye. She would no longer be with me day
in and day out. I could no longer run back to her cubicle for a good laugh or a
much needed shoulder to cry on. She wasn’t going to be there for the moments I
felt my sanity leaving me, or the moments where joy was bursting out of my
skin.
Can you now imagine the depth of emotion Jesus’ disciples
felt the moment he announced he was leaving them, and then even proceeded to
tell them that it was BETTER this way? This was a man they had lived, traveled,
and breathed with for three years. This was the man they ran to to laugh with and mourn with. They loved him. How could
life possibly be better without him?
I saw only a glimpse today of the loss Jesus’ disciples went
through over those few weeks. The wrestling, the heartbreak, the devastation,
the loneliness. Just the thought of moving on without Him had to be
overwhelming.
Thankfully, God DID have a better plan, whether the
disciples could believe it at that moment or not. The plan was to send his Holy
Spirit to reside in us, to be a comfort, a joy, and peace in the every day and the
mundane. And what an incredible gift
that was.
Whether I can see it right now or not, I know God has a
fabulous plan for my sweet friend, and for me, because He is good. He is always good. And His plans are always
good. That, for sure, I never have to doubt.
“In all things, God works for the good of those who love
him…” Romans 8:28
All my love,
Paige
